Climb for Hospice

It is very difficult for me to not have 100% control over the planning of this trip to Mt. Kilimanjaro.

I sit here on one continent and know that in 113 days I will hop on a big fat plane to take me to another continent… which will then give me the chance to hop on ANOTHER smaller, thinner plane to take me to yet ANOTHER continent… where I will then get on a teensy, tiny plane and get dropped in a country that, in all honesty, scares the living bejeebus out of me.

Then, I will meet up with my friends, who are arriving in that country at a different time.

Then we will go to an orphange and do some work…

Then we will cut a swath through the scary (spider-friendly) forest to see if we can hang out with Mountain Gorillas.

Then, we will go to Mt. Kilimanjaro and you know, climb it. I’ll sing a song on top, then we’ll head down.

Then I’ll stay in Tanzania and go on a safari.

And then I come home.

…I think.

I have *no idea* if any of this will happen, when all this will happen, who will be with me, what to expect, and how I’ll get to where I need to be once I’m actually in East Africa. I don’t know the orphange we’re visiting, the gorilla tour we’re doing, or the safari company I’ll be with. I don’t know when I’m supposed to be at Mt. Kili to start the climb. I don’t know my guides or porters. I don’t know how to pay them, how to dress, where I’m staying before and after, and who is actually going to BE on Team Kili 2010.

But hey, at least I have my flights booked.

I’m scared, I’m nervous, I’m stressed out, not in control, feeling pressure, trying to communicate with the right people, I’m hoping, trusting, and wishing I could win the lottery… I’m feeling totally trapped right now.

If it were just me planning this trip, and in total control, I’d have all my flights, transports, hotels and journeys booked and paid for by now. THAT is how I like to travel. I like to know what the plan is, so that if it veers off course (as it inevitably will), I’ll be able to work with it.

However, when trying to put a plan in place on the other side of the world, nothing is simple.

…I’d just like to stop crying soon.

I just booked my flights.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!

This just got entirely more real.

This morning I am having a very exciting meeting!

I am hoping to add two more outrageous women to the Kili 2010 team that will join Ali and I in our weird African Adventure this August. The really cool thing is that just last week, Ali’s friend Christopher took the big leap and said he was in, too! We are now a team of THREE!

I know that one of the women I am meeting with today is on the team for sure, so she and I are going to work hard at getting the SECOND woman to go. Even though she’ll probably get mad at us for not flossing on summit day…

I really hope that tomorrow I can tell you all that the Kili 2010 team is five strong.

Cross your fingers for me!!

Since yesterday was Ali’s birthday, we thought we’d spend it doing something awesome…

We have been fortunate enough to secure a FANTASTIC gift certificate from Kaymaran Adventure Tours (KAT) for the Kili Gala raffle draw, and so I called up KAT owner Tony Dales to check the place out before I raffle the certificate off. That’s right… Tony Dales. Not only the owner of KAT, but he was also the DSS liason officer when I was in high school. I am so glad my truancy was off his radar, or this could have been an awkward reunion.

Anyway… Ali and I were really looking forward to a nice, relaxing paddle on the river. We signed our waiver, got our PFDs, maps, safety gear and a bottle of water, and we were ready to go!

As Tony set up our boats and chatted with us, Ali and I were positively agog with thrills!  Tony said, “now, the Harbour Seals are out right now, so…”

And Ali and I interrupted with, “Awwwww! That’s so cute“, and “Alright! They’re so adorable!”

To which Tony replied, “…did you READ the waiver?”

Apparently Harbour Seals aren’t all that nice to kayak around. Ooops. But hey, at least we knew to keep away from the swans and geese!

And so, we were soon good to go, and were pushed into the water, happy as larks and excited as could be. Now… for those who know me well, you will know that I am inexplicably *terrified* of kayaking. What you are about to see will both shock and amaze you…

That’s right – that’s me HAVING FUN in a kayak! I particularly like the quality of that last photo. Alison sure has en eye, doesn’t she?

It was a gorgeous day. I mean, a totally awesome, still-water, sun-shining, birds-swimming-by, perfect day.We meandered past the houseboats, paddled through the marsh, and got a little lost. I can’t for the life of me understand why! I mean, Ali was guiding us with the map!

Oooooh.

Ali and I spent a couple of hours on the water, and could have stayed out far longer… but someone started to talk about sandwiches. Then we both started talking about lunch. And since there isn’t a kayak-up cafe anywhere around, we had to head back in and go to Speed’s Pub.

However… Ali and I will certainly be going back out there soon. Kaymaran Adventure Tours is AWESOME, and I am shocked that I haven’t ever been brave enough to try kayaking like that before. Poor Tony. He’s never going to get rid of us now.

Yesterday, Ali and I hiked up the Stawamus Chief in Squamish, BC. We’d both done the hike before, but never together. And so, I would like to apologize to all the lovely people who had intended to have a quiet hike in Squamish yesterday, only to have the quiet of nature ruined by the two of us as we laughed and snorted our way up in between creative bursts of Trademarkable cursing.

Hiking is serious business. You have to have the right gear, and you have to be prepared for anything. Right, Ali?

The right footwear is essential. For those of you that have been following along, you already know what a stinky copycat Ali is…

Sometimes when you’re hiking, you’re not feeling or looking your best. It’s important to always show your hiking partner some respect when taking their photo unawar…ALISON!

So, being that we were now both prepared for the journey, up we went! The Chief trail is really quite amazing, and when I remembered to look up, the view was always inspiring.

We soon came to a little rest spot where we took off a layer and had a quick rest. Alison suggested I go sit on a rock so that she could take a photo. For some reason, I was concerned about getting my pants dirty. I have no idea why.

Considering it was POURING RAIN, and also considering what the rest of the trail was like…

We soon came to a spot that Ali had aptly named “The Big Rock”, and she was so tired she nearly flung herself off the edge in a fit of desperation. Thankfully there was something there to save her!

Gooooood doggy! Thank you for saving Ali’s life, little guy. She was much happier…

And while Ali was posing, I looked down and HORROR OF HORRORS!!

I GOT DIRTY! Look! See?! Right there – that little mark of dirt! Oh, the shame!! It was almost enough to keep me from throwing my body into some ridiculous pose so that Ali could be amused when she took a photo. Lucky for her, I’m stronger than that…

So anyway, after I dried my tears, Ali and I continued onward and upward. There was so much laughing that she and I had to stop on more than one occasions to either catch our breath, or beg the other person to shut up so that we wouldn’t barf up the 2 litres of water we’d both consumed up to that point. We have decided that we need to tip our guide A LOT of money, because the poor bastard is going to have to put up with us for seven whole days.

The trail was slippery. The trail was sketchy. The trail began to get more technical than either of us had remembered. It was raining, we were sopping wet, the clouds had socked the mountain in so views were non-existent…  but we soldiered on. Up ladders, clinging to chains, jamming our feet into pockets of granite, gripping the rock with our hands and breaking our nails… BUT… we made it!

However… we had NO IDEA where we were. Neither of us had come up this route before. In fact, when I looked down, I saw this:

See that ledge down there? THAT’S where I thought we were. However, being the extremely intelligent woman that I am, I quickly deduced that if that ledge were down there, and I was up here, then I could not possibly be on that ledge at that moment. I haz a smarts. But what I *don’t* have are navigation skills. Bad, guiding Robyn, baaaaad…

I’m sorry.

So anyway, after Ali and I decided that we didn’t really care where we were, we decided that the best thing to do would be to get off of this horrendously slippery, lichen-covered mountain as soon as we could. We tried our best to keep things on the serious side, but we couldn’t. We laughed and slipped, lost our grip when we doubled over and needed our hands to hold our sides, we fell into poor, innocent trees when someone said something that made us snort so much that we nearly lost consciousness. It was an epic descent.

However… there is a sad ending to this tale. My trusty camera decided that being trusty was no longer a quality that it wanted to possess. It died. Stupid camera. Drop it just *one time*, and it breaks. Get *a little* dirt in the dial (that now makes a crunchy-grindy noise), and it stops working. Pffft. Piece of crap.

On the up-side, I now am in the market for a new camera. But I am going to hunt down a decent video camera instead! Ali and I decided that our Kili climb should NOT go unfilmed, because it’s going to be so very, very bad.

And that’s just totally awesome.

Today, Alison and I are FINALLY going to hike up The Chief in Squamish. In fact, we plan on doing all three peaks. And so, my plan is to honour Walt Whitman and stand atop the final peak, to Sound my Barbaric YAWP Over the Roofs of The World.

Because you know, what else do I have to do on a Saturday?

After a far-too-long hiatus, I went to yoga class on Tuesday at Open Space Yoga with Michael. It was a core yoga class, which I find easier than Hatha for some reason, so I knew I could take it easy. I have been genetically blessed with strong abdominal muscles, so I take to core work pretty well. In fact, it’s my favourite part of any type of training. I’m one of those weird people who actually looks forward to Boat Pose.  I think the fact that my mom put me in all sorts of sports when I was a kid really helped my body to create and maintain solid abdominal muscles. If all it took were strong abs to make it up a mountain, I’d be carrying Mt. Kilimanjaro up Mt. Everest!

… not really.

Aaaaaaaaaaaanyway… in the core yoga classes, we do about an hour of conditioning work before Michael says the magic words: “It’s time for Savassana”. He dims the lights, puts on some soft music, and we all lay there like lumps of conscious brain matter. I do love my Savassana… it’s a personal space, one where you’re relaxing, but conscious of the fact that you’re relaxing. There’s no worrying about what to eat for dinner after class, or what you need to do at work the next day… it’s just your own time to honour the space and the time that you are in at that moment.

I’ll tell you what happens when I do Savassana – I imagine that I am in Dog Heaven. Really.  I have a rustic cabin there, with a lovely porch housing a gently swaying hammock. The porch overlooks a broad, green field that is gracefully cut through by a wide, slow, clear river. There is a tall, full, green forest beyond the river, and the whole field is in a valley, where snow-capped mountains ambitiously touch the sky. There are flowers in the field. And there are dogs.

Lots and lots of dogs. All they’re all happy, whole, healthy, well-fed and endlessly loved. They play together, and lap from the stream, they run up to me so that I can scratch their fluffy, soft ears and every so often, I imagine… a bacon tree! There are at least 3 dogs fat and happy under the bacon tree.

All of the dogs had a best friend on Earth, and they are waiting in dog heaven to see that friend again. And while they wait, they can look into the stream and see happy memories of their best friend. There are lots of wagging tails in my dog heaven.

Always beside me on my porch, swinging in the hammock and softly dozing with me is my dog Jake. Jake died in 2007, and it was a very sad time. So during Savassana, as I am laying comfortably on my mat in the Open Space studio, I am actually laying comfortable on my hammock, being nuzzled by a snoring, warm, fluffy, 4-legged version of love. It is Paradise.

I have finally learned that it is ok to say goodbye to Jake when it is time to return from Savassana, because I know that I can come back anytime. I give him a pat, slide off the hammock, and leave him there to sleep, and to drink the rest of the lemonade on the table.

But the best part is yet to come. After Savassana comes to an end, we all sit quietly on our mats and take a moment to reflect inward. We bring our hands together at Heart Centre. We exhale and lower our heads. And then, with our heads bowed, and with a sincerity so true, Michael gently says my very favourite phrase:

“Bring a smile into your heart”

I smile, and I feel it in my heart. My chest warms, and that warmth spreads through me like a waving colour. More often than not, bringing a smile into my heart brings tears to my eyes. I am so grateful for that moment. It is the best part of my yoga practice.

Yoga. For the good of the body, the peace of the mind, the memories of your dog, the warmth in the heart.

After my brother recommended it, I’m reading the book “Three Cups of Tea” by Greg Mortenson. It’s a real-life story of Mortenson’s quest to build schools in the wildest, most remote parts of Pakistan and Afghanistan. I’m reading through it pretty quickly – the writing is pretty good, but the story itself is excellent.

Basically, Greg Mortenson is/was a mountaineer who attempted to climb K2 in Pakistan’s Karakoram Range, but was not able to summit. He dragged his weary bones down the mountain, lost, confused, hungry and delirious and stumbled across a village called Korphe. After the gracious villagers cared for him and helped him recover, Mortenson made a promise to them that he would return and build them a school.

The book then follows his adventures as he tries to make good on his promise.

I find the book inspiring, and I respect the fact that Mortenson has the drive and the heart to make life better for children on the other side of the world. But it got me thinking…

What if I fail to summit Mt. Kilimanjaro? Then the pressure is REALLY on! I’m going to have to build a school, or a hospital or something! Maybe ship in 450,000 mosquito nets, fund a boatload of malaria clinics, find a cure for HIV…

This is really stressful! Even if I do summit, well… it’s just a mountain, really. That’s not all that worthy, is it? In order to succeed, I need to fail!

I need to summit Mt. Kilimanjaro, because I’m not sure I have it in me to fail.

I’ve GOT to stop reading non-fiction!

Last night, I was subjected to the mind powers of the most convincing eyes in the world:

Looooook into my eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyes… You will take us on a loooooong walkies tomorrow morning… a looooong walkies, just like you used to before you and the couch became one…

It’s true. I used to take Jenn and Luna on long walks in the morning before I went to work. But I lost some motivation, then I got pneumonia, so they’ve been having short 10-15 minute jaunts for about 3 weeks now. I feel pretty guilty. Perhaps I *should* take them for a long walk…

*The next morning*

MOM? MOM? YOU AWAKE YET? MOM? HEY MOM. MOM. MOM…

*pokepokepoke*  *nosenosenose*

MOM!!

I’m up! I’m up! Ok, ok… Let’s go for that long walkies…

It was a beautiful morning. It has finally become One-Jacket Weather in good ‘ol Ladner. The morning was bright, the birds were singing, my mocha was perfect, and Jenn and Luna were running around like idiots (my friend Sheena calls this “The Zoomies” – which if you’re a dog owner, you will completely understand), happy to be out and about in the fresh Spring air of the morning. I love these 6am walks, I really do. So why have I denied the girls AND myself this most wonderful of rituals?

It felt great to get out and exercise, too. I’ve been so stagnant, and so lazy that I forgot how lovely it is to just walk around my community. The seals bark at me from the river, the swans gracefully ignore me, the ducks nervously mumble-quack as I stroll by, my fellow early-walkers greet me with a smile and a nod. What a perfect start to the day.

From here on in, we’re rockin’ the long walkies in the morning.

It’s good to be back.

In the past 2 weeks as I’ve been lying about all ill and feeling pathetic, my appetite has been somewhat nonexistant. With that, my weight dropped significantly, to where my hip bones were protruding and my cheeks were drawn in. It wasn’t a nice look. I mean, I’m all for looking fit and trim, but the whole ‘starving-coke-addicted-supermodel’ look just isn’t all that attractive.

So… I had to put on some fat. Last week I went out and did something very, very  awesome  bad: I bought a wee bucket of Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia, and then I sat down and ate the WHOLE THING.

I must say, it certainly helped pack the fat back on. I felt somewhat ill after doing it, but it was worth it. That’s why Tums were invented.

However, this morning at 3am, I was tossing and turning in bed, feeling horrible and anxious about my weight gain. I went too far. I sold my Skinny Soul for a pint of cherry ice cream.  I feel fluffy, puffy, chubby and wiggly.

Not what a mountain climber should be feeling.

So, at about 4am this morning I got up and went to the Open Space Yoga website to see what classes I could take. I may not be able to go all out with exercising yet, but I can at least try some gentle yoga to get back into it.

So, after packing my lunch this morning (brown rice, veggies and tofu), I also packed my dinner (quinoa, veggies and prawns), so that I could go to yoga class right after work. If I go home, I tend to make excuses to miss class, so I’m trying to fight that by simply staying at work until I have to leave for class. Hopefully it works.

I’m very disappointed in myself. I’m ashamed, if I can be honest with you… I feel like I’ve taken a big leap backwards health-wise, and it’s kind of overwhelming to have to start again. I’m very disappointed.

Cherry Garcia… you weren’t worth it.

Brand: Oh Yeah! (seriously)

Flavour: Chocolate and caramel (oh yeah!)

Tag Line: Rich in natural essential fats (ummm… this is a selling point?)

First Ingredient: Peanuts

 Although I laughed at the name of this bar (and I’ll be honest, the silliness of the name nearly made me resist purchasing it), the picture on the wrapper was a very good selling point. It shows this bar looking EXACTLY like an Oh Henry! chocolate bar. No kidding. However, upon opening the wrapper, I saw that the Oh Yeah! bar looks… EXACTLY like an Oh Henry! chocolate bar. And the taste? Like the morning after Halloween, when you sneak in a bite-sized candy bar before breakfast – so wonderfully wicked. Woo hoo! Trademark infringement never tasted so good!

But, I wonder… how similar are the Brothers Oh! ? Let’s find out!

                                     Oh Yeah!                   Oh Henry!

Weight:                      3oz (85g)                    2oz (57g)

Calories                     380                              263

Sugars                        8g                                26.3g

Total Fat                    19g                              13.1g

Sodium                      130mg                       110mg

Total Carbs                31g                              37.3g

Cholesterol                5mg                            4mg

Protein                       26g                              4.4g

Huh. Aside from the sugar content, it’s essentially the same bar, isn’t it? Oh BOY! But really, that’s not a good thing, is it? Sadly, I’ll be leaving the Oh Yeah! Bar at Oh Base Camp! Now… after all that sugar, where did I put the celery?