Climb for Hospice

Ladner May Days was in town this weekend, and although I missed out on it for the most part, my dogs Jenn and Luna seemed to really enjoy themselves with all the wonder that the Fair has to offer. This is my impression of what was going through my dogs’ brains as we walked through the park this morning…

Tree, tree, dirt – HOTDOG!? Score! Grass, grass, I know that dog, dirt, tree – NACHOS! With CHEESE! Dirt, dirt – MINI DONUT! Tree, grass – FRENCH FRIES! Dirt – HAMBURGER BUN?! This is AWESOME!

In an attempt to steer them away from all edible, rain-soaked and disgusting things, I walked them through town. Along the parade route…

Plant, flower, sidewalk, plant – CANDY!! Paper bag, plastic cup – CANDY!! Plant, plant – CANDY!! Dirt, weeds, plant – CANDY!!

Needless to say, our 40-minute walk took about 2 hours. In the rain.  Stupid greedy dogs.

Aaaaaaaaaaanyway… Ali and I went back to hike the Brother’s Creek trail yesterday, and we had a lovely time. That really is a great trail, but it’s a bit short. It’s supposed to take 4 hours, but it takes us about 2.5 hours. We have decided to do it twice next time around. Well, that’s what we’ve decided now… given that we’ve forgotten about:

And:

(yes, that’s water cascading down those steps)

However, it really is a beautiful and unique spot. Check out this weird pond we saw:

Cool, eh? Oh! And what about the big, honkin’ trees? Those are cool, too!

And then there are the weird, wonderful, wooly animals!

Ok, so it’s not the best photo, but still… it was a totally bizarre dog. Like a basset hound crossed with a yellow lab. Odd little bugger. Cute, but odd.

And of course, there is the view from between the trees…

It’s a great hike. Not too strenuous, and we did a whole lot better this time around than when we first attempted it. Oh, and no Nazi tree this time! It had been hacked up, splintered and rotted to within an inch of its life. Crazy what a difference 4 months can make in the forest.

And so, we finished our hike, and headed for home. We soon saw that the Lion’s Gate Bridge was at a crawl. We weren’t opposed to sitting in traffic, but as we discussed it, we realized that we shouldn’t sit in traffic because… ummm… all that idling would be bad for the environment. We needed to step up and do our part to keep the planet green! Proudly, we made the decision to turn off before the bridge and to do something for the good of mankind…

Muuuuuuuch better…

Happy beering hiking!

So, Ali and I left the city yesterday to enjoy some time in nature. Ali had told me about this great campsite she knew of in Brackendale that was right by the river, so I agreed to jam the car full of camping stuff, and pick her up at 9am.

Good morning! Ready to go, Ali?

READY!

And so, into the woods we go. After a wrong turn here and an “I don’t remember this” statement or two, we were finally on our way down the World’s Longest Backwoods Road which was rife with pot holes and death-wish squirrels. Ali realized that she had to make a work-related phone call, so I turned down the stereo so that she could book flights for someone and seethe in relative silence.

Given that we’re driving into the middle of Upper Cougar Crotch (as my mother likes to call any sort of wilderness-related destination), the fact that Ali lost cell reception wasn’t all that surprising. We drove on for a few minutes more until BLAM! I hit The World’s Largest Pot Hole dead-on and my front tire blew out.

Awesome.

That’s ok! We’ll just call BCAA… Oooooh, right. That no-cell-phone-reception thing. Well, looks like it’s up to us now. Hey tire… you, me… bring it on.  Awwwwwww, yeeeeah…

Now, for those that know me, you will recall that I have two rather large dog crates in the back of my car. Which, of course, are tied down with enough rope and bungee cord to create excitement in certain sections of the population. I’m not sure, but I believe a photo of my securely-tied dog crates was the feature picture on TieMeUpTieMeDown.com last month

Aaaaaaaaanyway… While Ali grabbed the “How to Change a Tire” book from the glove compartment, I set out to find a way to remove the spare tire from under the dog crates, without actually having to remove the dog crates.

Let me tell you this: changing a tire isn’t all that tough, but it does take some strength.  And a little bit of rhythm.

You kind of get a rhythm going when you’re jacking a car up, so I was really in the groove for a while there. But then Ali wanted to play, so being the generous friend that I am, I gave her a shot at it, too.

Jenn is not amused.  At all.  “Hurry up, Lady!”

And so, after completing the tire change, Ali and I were really quite proud of ourselves. After a well-deserved high-five, we posed for a photo with our conquered prey.  ALL HAIL TEAM LUG NUT!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand then we drove back into Squamish and went to the Canadian Tire, crossing our fingers that it was actually open on a Sunday morning. Don’t forget the Tire of Doom! Buckle up for safety!

Now, I will admit it: I was scared to drive on that little tire, and the fact that it is referred to as a “donut” didn’t do much for my confidence. I put on the 4-way flashers and drove about 40km/hr back up The World’s Longest Backwoods Road toward civilization. 4 hours later (kidding!)… we reached Canadian Tire safely, and as I walked in the three people at the service counter stopped their conversation and just sort of stared at me. Looking down, I realized that I was probably the dirtiest I had been since childhood. Apparently this is not a good look for me. The nice lady at the desk said they were “booked solid” that day, but that she would squeeze me in ASAP. Ali and I went to grab a coffee and by the time we got back, the car was ready! …sort of.

Turns out that the rim was shot, and so they couldn’t put a new tire on. I would have to drive home on the donut. “Ummm… is that safe?”, I ask. The lady looked at me and said, “No. Not at all”, then handed me back my keys.

And so, I now have to drive from Squamish to Ladner, down the Sea-to-Sky hwy, in the rain, on a donut.

“Well, better put the 4-ways on”, says Ali, and away we went…

I white-knuckled it home, dreading that the donut would blow at any minute, and send the car careening off a cliff. In my head I had decided that should the donut fail on me, I would try my best to swerve left, so as to ensure that Ali would have a good chance at walking away from any accident. Was I nervous? Nooooooooooooooooo…

(Yep. Those are bite marks on my hand, as I kept chewing on myself to keep from screaming.)

However, we FINALLY made it home (after a few stops where I simply had to pull over and relax for a moment), and when we made it through the Deas Tunnel, both Ali and I took our first real breath since we changed the damn tire however many hours ago. Then we started laughing. Then we realized that we suck at camping.

Or, do we?

Yep, that’s right – we went back to my place, lit a pathetic fire in the fire pit on my balcony, ate some terrible hot dogs, and chowed on the Worst S’mores Ever. We finally got to experience camping after all…

Best. Camping trip. EVER.  THREE CHEERS FOR TEAM LUG NUT!!

Hooray!

First thing yesterday morning I received an email from Ali. In effect, it said:

You know that warehouse that stores all the excess Whitecaps soccer gear that you and I are taking to that Rwandan orphanage to donate? Yah, well… that warehouse burned down last night. We lost everything.

Gone. All of it is gone. There were shirts, cleats, socks, shorts, soccer balls… everything that we were hoping would bring a little more joy into the lives of some kids on the other side of the world. Gone. How completely surreal and totally unexpected.

Why did this happen? I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. So… what’s the reason for this loss?

Even though Ali and I were both saddened by the loss of all the stuff, we quickly realized that the stuff wasn’t the important thing. We don’t need stuff to give. We have our time to give instead. Why not go to that Rwandan orphanage anyway, and spend a couple of days playing soccer with the kids? Maybe I’m totally wrong here, but something tells me that they’ve been getting by just fine with what soccer stuff they currently have…

And in my head I just can’t help thinking that maybe just going over there and spending time with the kids would make more of an impact than coming laden with stuff. It’s just STUFF.

And that impact I’m talking about? I have a funny feeling that I’m talking about myself there. I think I’ll be learning more from those children than I could ever teach them. That makes me anticipate the trip even more.

Strange that it took a burned down warehouse for me to understand that.

This morning I am having a very exciting meeting!

I am hoping to add two more outrageous women to the Kili 2010 team that will join Ali and I in our weird African Adventure this August. The really cool thing is that just last week, Ali’s friend Christopher took the big leap and said he was in, too! We are now a team of THREE!

I know that one of the women I am meeting with today is on the team for sure, so she and I are going to work hard at getting the SECOND woman to go. Even though she’ll probably get mad at us for not flossing on summit day…

I really hope that tomorrow I can tell you all that the Kili 2010 team is five strong.

Cross your fingers for me!!

Since yesterday was Ali’s birthday, we thought we’d spend it doing something awesome…

We have been fortunate enough to secure a FANTASTIC gift certificate from Kaymaran Adventure Tours (KAT) for the Kili Gala raffle draw, and so I called up KAT owner Tony Dales to check the place out before I raffle the certificate off. That’s right… Tony Dales. Not only the owner of KAT, but he was also the DSS liason officer when I was in high school. I am so glad my truancy was off his radar, or this could have been an awkward reunion.

Anyway… Ali and I were really looking forward to a nice, relaxing paddle on the river. We signed our waiver, got our PFDs, maps, safety gear and a bottle of water, and we were ready to go!

As Tony set up our boats and chatted with us, Ali and I were positively agog with thrills!  Tony said, “now, the Harbour Seals are out right now, so…”

And Ali and I interrupted with, “Awwwww! That’s so cute“, and “Alright! They’re so adorable!”

To which Tony replied, “…did you READ the waiver?”

Apparently Harbour Seals aren’t all that nice to kayak around. Ooops. But hey, at least we knew to keep away from the swans and geese!

And so, we were soon good to go, and were pushed into the water, happy as larks and excited as could be. Now… for those who know me well, you will know that I am inexplicably *terrified* of kayaking. What you are about to see will both shock and amaze you…

That’s right – that’s me HAVING FUN in a kayak! I particularly like the quality of that last photo. Alison sure has en eye, doesn’t she?

It was a gorgeous day. I mean, a totally awesome, still-water, sun-shining, birds-swimming-by, perfect day.We meandered past the houseboats, paddled through the marsh, and got a little lost. I can’t for the life of me understand why! I mean, Ali was guiding us with the map!

Oooooh.

Ali and I spent a couple of hours on the water, and could have stayed out far longer… but someone started to talk about sandwiches. Then we both started talking about lunch. And since there isn’t a kayak-up cafe anywhere around, we had to head back in and go to Speed’s Pub.

However… Ali and I will certainly be going back out there soon. Kaymaran Adventure Tours is AWESOME, and I am shocked that I haven’t ever been brave enough to try kayaking like that before. Poor Tony. He’s never going to get rid of us now.

Yesterday, Ali and I hiked up the Stawamus Chief in Squamish, BC. We’d both done the hike before, but never together. And so, I would like to apologize to all the lovely people who had intended to have a quiet hike in Squamish yesterday, only to have the quiet of nature ruined by the two of us as we laughed and snorted our way up in between creative bursts of Trademarkable cursing.

Hiking is serious business. You have to have the right gear, and you have to be prepared for anything. Right, Ali?

The right footwear is essential. For those of you that have been following along, you already know what a stinky copycat Ali is…

Sometimes when you’re hiking, you’re not feeling or looking your best. It’s important to always show your hiking partner some respect when taking their photo unawar…ALISON!

So, being that we were now both prepared for the journey, up we went! The Chief trail is really quite amazing, and when I remembered to look up, the view was always inspiring.

We soon came to a little rest spot where we took off a layer and had a quick rest. Alison suggested I go sit on a rock so that she could take a photo. For some reason, I was concerned about getting my pants dirty. I have no idea why.

Considering it was POURING RAIN, and also considering what the rest of the trail was like…

We soon came to a spot that Ali had aptly named “The Big Rock”, and she was so tired she nearly flung herself off the edge in a fit of desperation. Thankfully there was something there to save her!

Gooooood doggy! Thank you for saving Ali’s life, little guy. She was much happier…

And while Ali was posing, I looked down and HORROR OF HORRORS!!

I GOT DIRTY! Look! See?! Right there – that little mark of dirt! Oh, the shame!! It was almost enough to keep me from throwing my body into some ridiculous pose so that Ali could be amused when she took a photo. Lucky for her, I’m stronger than that…

So anyway, after I dried my tears, Ali and I continued onward and upward. There was so much laughing that she and I had to stop on more than one occasions to either catch our breath, or beg the other person to shut up so that we wouldn’t barf up the 2 litres of water we’d both consumed up to that point. We have decided that we need to tip our guide A LOT of money, because the poor bastard is going to have to put up with us for seven whole days.

The trail was slippery. The trail was sketchy. The trail began to get more technical than either of us had remembered. It was raining, we were sopping wet, the clouds had socked the mountain in so views were non-existent…  but we soldiered on. Up ladders, clinging to chains, jamming our feet into pockets of granite, gripping the rock with our hands and breaking our nails… BUT… we made it!

However… we had NO IDEA where we were. Neither of us had come up this route before. In fact, when I looked down, I saw this:

See that ledge down there? THAT’S where I thought we were. However, being the extremely intelligent woman that I am, I quickly deduced that if that ledge were down there, and I was up here, then I could not possibly be on that ledge at that moment. I haz a smarts. But what I *don’t* have are navigation skills. Bad, guiding Robyn, baaaaad…

I’m sorry.

So anyway, after Ali and I decided that we didn’t really care where we were, we decided that the best thing to do would be to get off of this horrendously slippery, lichen-covered mountain as soon as we could. We tried our best to keep things on the serious side, but we couldn’t. We laughed and slipped, lost our grip when we doubled over and needed our hands to hold our sides, we fell into poor, innocent trees when someone said something that made us snort so much that we nearly lost consciousness. It was an epic descent.

However… there is a sad ending to this tale. My trusty camera decided that being trusty was no longer a quality that it wanted to possess. It died. Stupid camera. Drop it just *one time*, and it breaks. Get *a little* dirt in the dial (that now makes a crunchy-grindy noise), and it stops working. Pffft. Piece of crap.

On the up-side, I now am in the market for a new camera. But I am going to hunt down a decent video camera instead! Ali and I decided that our Kili climb should NOT go unfilmed, because it’s going to be so very, very bad.

And that’s just totally awesome.

You want to know what really scares me about climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro? Sharing a tent.

“Sleeping is a problem for most high-altitude climbers due to a phenomenon known as Cheyne-Stokes breathing. While dozing, the climber breathes normally for a minute and then stops completely for thirty seconds. Suddenly, breathing resumes at an accelerated rate. One minute you sound out of breath, the next, dead. It is often more disconcerting for the tent mate than the sleeper.”

Faaaantastic!

And so, as I bravely unfurled myself from the fetal position, dared to rise from the couch-dent and leave my pity hovel, I realized that fresh air is somewhat invigorating.

Yesterday Ali and I decided to do SOMETHING, because we have been doing nothing for far too long, So many excuses! “The olympics are on… my knee hurts… I’m functioning on single-lung capacity… I don’t want to get blown off the top of The Chief and smoosh onto the Sea-To-Sky in all my gory glory…”  lame things like that. But today, we just got out there and walked. We decided to walk along the Deas Island trail in Ladner…

Or, ummm… Dea’s Trail…

Dea has such a lovely trail. Thank you for letting us walk your lovely trail, Dea!

It really is a beautiful walk. Full of the wonders of nature. Look! A rare Transiticus Busicus! How fortunate to get it on film!

In all seriousness, it IS a nice trail. It winds through Ladner for a bit, then crosses under Highway 99 by the tunnel, before leading one along the river to Deas Island Park

And once in Deas Island Park, you sort of wend your way through a quiet forest

Taking the time to just enjoy nature. Watching the birds on the river, smelling the damp, mossy forest, feeling the wind against your face as it blows through the trees, hearing the beautiful sounds of all that is natural and beau…

ALISON!!

Anyway… Ali and I walked for 2 hours, chatting and laughing, wondering how we were going to actually pull this Kili Gala off, wondering how we’ll actually manage to do this whole ‘climb-a-mountain thing’, wondering how we’ll ever afford all the gear, wondering how we’ll fit everything that we want to do into three short weeks, wondering how we can not defecate for seven days while we’re climbing in order to avoid the whole ‘used toilet paper bag’ idea… you know, the important things.

It was a really nice walk and I totally recommend it to all Delta residents (Deltans? Deltaites? Whatever.) as a nice little jaunt through the large beauty of the small place in which we live. I felt a great deal better after my walk (especially after the epsom salt footbath), and I think the fresh air did me some good.

I haven’t been eating much, and so have lost a fair deal of weight, which has led to a diminished energy level. However, by next weekend I am sure to be back at 100%, and so Ali and I have decided that we’re going to take on The Chief on Saturday. I hope.

Happy Hidden-Chocolate-Egg Day!

FINALLY! I can breathe, I have some energy, I’m not coughing up small bits of highly important internal organs… today is the day! Ali has had a fitness goal of climbing all 3 peaks of the Stawamus Chief, so we’re going to do that today. I’ve got my lunch packed, my camelback filled, my hiking boots in the car… what’s left? Oh! Better check that weather report before we head off…

Let’s see.. mmm, hmmm… Squamish – ah, here we go! So, ‘5 degrees Celsius’. Not a problem. That’s practically balmy for Squamish!  ‘Light rain’ – pffft, no worries there at all. ‘Wind warning in effect for Howe Sound’.

…wut.

Hmmmmm. I *really* want to do this hike. But do I *really* want to be standing atop one of the world’s tallest granite monoliths in a gale force wind storm?

Processing… processing…

*dials phone*

“Hey Ali. Soooo… how are things? Mmm, hmm, that’s great. Good to hear.  Yah, so, about this hike today… oh, yah, yah, I’d still love to go! Absolutely! Funny thing, though… I don’t really want to, you know… DIE or anything, so I was wondering if you may want to do something a little… lower. Sure. Sure. Yep, you bet. Mkay, see you then. Bye-bye”

So, today is the day! Ali and I are finally going to walk the trails around Ladner…

Ahhh, the first post on my new site. It may take me a while to get the hang of this new place, but I’ll try to learn fast. So? What do you think? Like the new digs? Look around and you’ll see some new stuff here and there.  I’m so glad you came by!

I’m back in the world of the healthy… I think. I took 2.5 days off work, and I think it really helped. Just to sit on the couch, read, nap and drink tea was far more healing than anything that Tylenol or Nyquil could provide. However, I *did* have some Neo-Citran, but that’s just because I like how it tastes (I know. I’m weird that way). The stuff had actually expired in 2006 (you can see how often I get sick), and came out of the package as a lump of bouncy crystal log instead of cascading like a healing waterfall, but it still tasted ok.  What?

Tomorrow Ali and I are hiking The Chief in Squamish. We’re doing all 3 peaks. I think. Now, considering I get winded when I talk on the phone, this hike may be a bit difficult for me. I was going to cancel, but I thought to myself, ‘what if I get sick like this on Kili? I’d still have to carry on!’ So… I’m hiking The Chief tomorrow.

If I were in pain I wouldn’t do a hike, because that could obviously do a lot of harm. But since it’s just a cold I’m recovering from, I’ll be ok.

Ali, on the other hand, I’m not so sure about. She’s going to be hiking with me for hours as I snurffle, hack, cough, spit, choke and blargh. I’m sure she’ll have a lovely time.

Happy Faux Friday, and welcome to ClimbForHospice.com! Wheeeee!

Just got a GREAT song recommendation to add to my KiliClimb Playlist:

“Barney Fade” (Future Loop Foundation mix) by Fragile State

I’ve been listening to it on repeat, and I am completely in love with it. It’s very inspiring, uplifting and emotional. It’s exactly what I need for my playlist.

Speaking of inspiring, uplifting, and emotional…

I am so thrilled that I can FINALLY let you all in on the BIG FAT SECRET that I’ve been forced to hold in. Ladies and gentleman, I can now officially announce my Kilimanjaro climbing partner:

ALISON HOGG! (*wild applause*)

That’s right, my hiking partner has now become my climbing partner, and we are going to kick some serious Kilimanjarse! Yah, baby!

Now, as cool as this is going to be for me, (to be able to travel to the other side of the world with my life-long friend and hike up the world’s largest free standing equatorial mountain with her), Alison is just totally blowing my mind. Y’see, Alison is doing more than just conquering a mountain; she is conquering her greatest fear: herself.

An extremely private person, Alison has decided to make the most of her journey by inviting the world into her heart, her head, and her home. Her website FatGirlClimbsKili.com is a daring, open space for her to face her fears and admit some things to herself that she didn’t necessarily want to. As you can tell from her website, Ali has a very slick, self-depreciating sense of humour, and she’s braving the openness of the Internet, and the world, to show herself as she really is.

Alison has decided that she is going to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro in an effort to raise $10,000 for The Heart & Stroke Foundation. As an overweight woman, Alison is well aware of the importance of heart health, and is willing to show her own personal struggle with weight, fitness, and motivation to the world – friends and strangers alike – to increase awareness to all.

Alison, I am so happy that you and I are climbing this mountain together, and I am honoured to be a part of your journey. I support you, I love you, and I think you’re incredible.

ROCK ON, FAT GIRL, ROCK ON! xoxo