Dr. Strangelaugh

2.13.2010 | Arthritis

I went to see my doctor yesterday to chat about some things, namely, you know… climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, and the pain in my hips.

Now, my doctor is not your run-of-the-mill MD. He is the wackiest, goofiest doctor in the world, with the most bizarre sense of humor. For example, one time when he was doing one of those icky girly exams, he decided to start talking about Mustangs, torque, combustion engines, and other manly-man things. Or there was the time when he offered to give a meanie ex-boyfriend of mine a pap smear. My doctor and I get along fantastically. I actually like going to see my doctor because he makes me laugh so much. It’s kind of like going to Yuk-Yuks, but with more tongue depressors and less hecklers.

So yesterday we have a chat, and he carefully examines my painful hips. He stands back, looks pensively at me with his chin resting on his thumb, and says, “So. You want to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. In all honesty, I think you should wait.”

What!? WAIT?! I can’t “wait”! I have this whole blog thing, and some money already raised… I’ve been in The Optimist, man! I can’t “wait”!

“Ohh… I… I see…I mean, I guess I can understand that…” I say, as my brain starts reeling with the thousand and one things that I now need to do in order to stop this freight train.

“Yes”, he says, “I think you should wait”.

“Well, how long do you think I should wait for?”

Nodding his head sagely, knitting his brow, he takes a breath…

“Well, until they build a Mount Kilimanjaro in Vegas. Climb THAT one. And then you can go gambling after!”

Now THIS is my doctor in a nutshell.

“Well, really Doc, that does make sense. I mean, I can see the Eiffel Tower, go to the Pyramids AND climb Kilimanjaro all in one trip”, I say.

“In between the MGM Grand and The Mirage!”, he joyfully replies.

And in the end, after I stop laughing, and after he stops babbling on about Las Vegas, showgirls, and palm trees, he tells me that I’ll be ok to climb. Of course he knows very well that he wouldn’t be able to stop me anyway.

So for now, I will take it easy on myself. Maybe rest on the couch a bit more, put my feet up, have a bath, and take pleasure in the little things, like reading the magazines I deftly steal from his office.