Mount Baker and Culinary Elevation

1.26.2010 | Facts, Motivation, Protein Bar Taste Test

As I was driving to work today, I was treated to the sight of a snow-covered, sun-glowed, soft-hued Mount Baker in the distance. What an impressive mountain! I wonder how tall it is? It can’t be that much smaller than Kilimanjaro, can it? I mean, look at it! It’s HUGE!


Hmmm, says here that Mount Baker is… oh no. Seriously? The thing is HALF the height of Mt. Kilimanjaro? I have to climb TWO Mt. Bakers to equal ONE Mt. Kilimanjaro? Ohhh, geez… I really need to bump up my cardio training.


Exhibit D – Elevate Me!

Brand: Elevate Me!
Flavour: Cocoa Coconut Cluster
Tag Line: “The world’s simplest protein & fruit energy bar”
First Ingredient: Whey protein isolate

Well, it certainly has a heck of a lot less ingredients than all the other bars I’ve tried! Wanna’ know what else it has in it? Dates, raisins, apples, cranberries, almonds, coconut, and fair trade cocoa. I feel as though I’ve made a socially conscious decision here! I don’t think I’ve ever felt proud buying something that has the word “cluster” in it. Usually words like “cluster”, (along with “caramel” and “marshmallow”) evoke feelings of shame and betrayal. Tasty, tasty betrayal…

Anyway, back to Elevate Me! It comes in three little squares, which is nice because your brain says, “Oh wonderful! I’ll just eat one”. But you don’t eat just one. You never eat just one. The first bite of one of the squares was really, really good. And then the texture kicked in. It’s a little like chewing on a pear that has been lightly rolled in gravel and then had dried cranberries punched into it. Still, it tasted alright. Not the best thing I’ve ever eaten (that would be pretty much anything from La Belle Auberge), but it’ll do.

Energy-wise? Can’t say it did a whole lot, but then again, I had a nap right after I ate it. So, that was probably counter-productive, eh?