Another Installment of The Protein Bar Taste Test!

1.15.2010 | Protein Bar Taste Test

Yes, it’s time once again for another installment of The Protein Bar Taste Test!

Exhibit B – ZONE ‘PERFECT’

Ahhhh, yes. Time to once again delve into the fascinating culinary/scientific world of the Protien Bar. My goal is to find the best protein bar (or two) to take with me on my trip to Kilimanjaro so that I don’t pass out from hunger, and slide down a scree slope into the happily waiting jaws of a pride of lions. I chose this next bar because it was so tantalizingly labeled “Perfect”. I was about to get a lesson in False Advertising…

Brand: Zone Perfect
Flavour: Chocolate Carmel Cluster
Tag Line: “Nutritional Supplement Bar”
First Ingredient: Soya protein nuggets (soya proein isolate, rice flour, tapioca starch, malt, salt)

I was out and about downtown looking for a decent pair of hiking boots, when I felt the first pangs of hunger. Knowing I had packed myself a protein bar, I rummaged around in my bag and grabbed my handy-dandy Zone Perfect bar. I was excited to try this new taste sensation, and happily unwrapped the bar in great anticipation.

This is the perfect protein bar for someone who likes their rice crispies covered with chocolate and mixed with rancid peanuts. It has a slightly cardboard-esque aftertaste, with a “Hey Look! I Just Found a Nine-Year-Old Jar of Opened Peanuts in the Back of the Pantry!” flavour. Mmmmmm!

I was really, really happy after I ate this bar because I happened to be close to a Steamrollers shop downtown, and so was able to quickly run in and grab a #3 to go to get the wretched taste of “Perfect” out of my mouth.

Steamrollers is a fantastic little shop (one on Broadway, one on Robson, one on Granville…) that makes these kick-butt wraps in steamed tortillas. Steamrollers are not for the slightly hungry. They are for the ravenous (possibly slightly inebriated) masses who enjoy fresh, filling, tasty food in a funky silver wrapper. And these wraps are HEAVY. In fact, the #3 was HEAVIER than the hiking boots I had just purchased. No joke.

However, I must concede one point about the wretched Zone Perfect protein bar: The #3 at Steamrollers has black beans and cheese, which are fantastic sources of protein, so in a sense the Zone Perfect bar DID provide me with ample energy and sustenance. Golly, THANKS Zone Perfect!!



Lindy Lou

I haven't found a single protein bar that I love…but I have tasted a lot of rancid, fake-food, soylent green protein bars!

The one I always end up going back to is the Powerbar Harvest Whole Grain. It has a texture that does NOT resemble glue or paste. It has recognizable ingredients and a flavour.

When that doesn't appeal or I can't find those, I end up with the Powerbar Fruit Smoothy bar. They are pleasantly sweet but not sickeningly so and have two or three flavours to choose from. Only drawback is the gummy / pasty texture.

May the Force be with you in your quest for the right protein bar 😉

I am...

Oooooh, PowerBar seems to be a good choice! I'll go find some… thanks!