Posts Tagged ‘Laces’

Posts Tagged ‘Laces’

Round Laces, Bad Singing

1.10.2010 | 1 Comment

And now, my interpretation of the dilemma faced by the hiking boot craftsman:

Hmmm, let’s see… the eyelets are solid, the sole is firm, yet athletic, and the ankle support is beyond perfection. The boot is comfortable and stylish, and will not make the wearer’s foot look fat in any way. It’s good. Too good. Like a Persian rug, I feel as though I must make some tiny mistake in this boot…

Jim-Bob (the experimental-rat cage cleaner) strolls by, and overhearing the boot craftsman’s dilemma, he pokes his head in the door and says, “You could make the laces round!“, and then totters off on his way to the company cafeteria for some pie.

Eureka!” exclaims the craftsman, and lo, round laces were born.

Round laces are the most ridiculous and pointless accessories to add to a hiking boot. A boot would be better received if it had a built in toe-wetter. Round laces. The only thing round laces do well is come undone. They are Gold Medal Come Undoners. They also receive high honours in Not Tying Up Tight Enough. Stupid round laces.

Today I did my first hike with my friend Ali, and we went to Lynn Canyon Head Waters. The hike was fine, and we both did really well, but it wasn’t the terrain or the scenery that was most interesting. Oh no, that honour goes to the conversation that began our journey…

Robyn (reads sign): “Hmmm… bears in area. I guess we should make some noise to keep them away, huh?”

Ali: “Oh man, I read that the bears aren’t seeping well this year because they’re so hungry!”

Robyn: “Oh, awesome. THANK you for that lovely tidbit of information!”

Ali: “That’s what I read!”

Robyn: “Be that as it may, it’s not the bears that scare me so much, it’s the cougars!”


Anyway, we were able to keep the bears and cougars at bay and we enjoyed our hike immensely. Next weekend, we tackle…

CAMPING! *cue ominous music*