A Mountain of Stress
4.21.2010 | My Blog, Uncategorized
It is very difficult for me to not have 100% control over the planning of this trip to Mt. Kilimanjaro.
I sit here on one continent and know that in 113 days I will hop on a big fat plane to take me to another continent… which will then give me the chance to hop on ANOTHER smaller, thinner plane to take me to yet ANOTHER continent… where I will then get on a teensy, tiny plane and get dropped in a country that, in all honesty, scares the living bejeebus out of me.
Then, I will meet up with my friends, who are arriving in that country at a different time.
Then we will go to an orphange and do some work…
Then we will cut a swath through the scary (spider-friendly) forest to see if we can hang out with Mountain Gorillas.
Then, we will go to Mt. Kilimanjaro and you know, climb it. I’ll sing a song on top, then we’ll head down.
Then I’ll stay in Tanzania and go on a safari.
And then I come home.
…I think.
I have *no idea* if any of this will happen, when all this will happen, who will be with me, what to expect, and how I’ll get to where I need to be once I’m actually in East Africa. I don’t know the orphange we’re visiting, the gorilla tour we’re doing, or the safari company I’ll be with. I don’t know when I’m supposed to be at Mt. Kili to start the climb. I don’t know my guides or porters. I don’t know how to pay them, how to dress, where I’m staying before and after, and who is actually going to BE on Team Kili 2010.
But hey, at least I have my flights booked.
I’m scared, I’m nervous, I’m stressed out, not in control, feeling pressure, trying to communicate with the right people, I’m hoping, trusting, and wishing I could win the lottery… I’m feeling totally trapped right now.
If it were just me planning this trip, and in total control, I’d have all my flights, transports, hotels and journeys booked and paid for by now. THAT is how I like to travel. I like to know what the plan is, so that if it veers off course (as it inevitably will), I’ll be able to work with it.
However, when trying to put a plan in place on the other side of the world, nothing is simple.
…I’d just like to stop crying soon.
4.21.2010
*wags finger at Robyn* No meltdown now! You’ll be fine! *shakes Robyn violently*
Ok, ok, I’ll donate a bottle of gin to you for the climb. How’s that? 🙂
That should calm some nerves but don’t you go finish it all up in brunk daking sessions BEFORE the trip, ya!
Just enjoy the experience of the… unknown. It’s fun. Really. I mean it sucks when things spiral out of control sometimes but guess what. When it’s all over and you look back, you’ll be one proud chick! Because it’s not many who dare to dream, imagine and then DO IT.
You took that step because you believe you have a bigger mission than your weak little heart and your anal dirt phobia but hey, for that, you should give yourself a MIGHTY pat on the back! And that is what brings me back to this blog day after day, over and over again, because it’s real, because big gals DO cry but mostly because it’s such a privilege to share this experience with someone who has the DARE to tackle something extraordinary not because of fame nor fortune but just because she believes. And that says lots.
And of course, to donate my bottle of gin. 🙂
4.21.2010
Wow. Claudia, I really, really needed that.
And I’m not talking about the gin OR the violent shaking! 🙂
That was an incredibly moving comment for me to get to read, and I appreciate you taking the time to write… sometimes, someone says just what you need to hear.
Thank you. xo
4.21.2010
You are most welcome. *lifts gin bottle* 🙂